Just like great movies and TV shows, good technology products and events should have their own theme tunes.

On this note, comes this little ditty is from our Computerworld Canada colleague, Shane Schick:

”Every time I go to a product launch of user conference keynote I think the same thing: Why does that devil music have to be so damn loud?

You never know what's going to happen once an executive takes the stage and a demo gets underway, but you can pretty much guarantee the soundtrack beforehand will be fast-paced yet impossible to dance to, repetitive and played at full volume. In some cases they play actual songs, which makes you feel you're walking into a hip club rather than a faceless convention centre. A lot of the time it's the aural equivalent of stock art: synthesised drumbeats and a tune that sounds like it was designed for some sort of corporate version of a rave. Microsoft's launch of Windows Server, SQL Server and Visual Studio 2008 was no different.

Hearing this stuff first thing in the morning is presumably supposed to get everyone excited, energised about buying the products and putting them to good use, but the effect once the music dies and the event actually begins is pretty deflating. Then, when the music picks up again once the event's over, you kind of feel like you've reached the end of a game show, except that no one is rolling the credits.

As I waited for Microsoft to walk through its enterprise software lineup, I imagined how much better the world (or at least the IT industry) would be if some innovative company were to take the opposite tactic. That is, what if they used ballads, instead of dance music, to introduce their breakthrough products? Sure, a lot of IT guys are metalheads, but even the heaviest thrash-rockers have been known to take it down a notch or two occasionally.

I tend to have the musical tastes of a pre-teen girl, but the following is a list of suggestions that could help set the tone for a new kind of relationship between vendors and the kind of IT managers they hope to woo.

Wish You Were Here (Pink Floyd) - the yearning in the chorus would be a perfect fit for remote access technologies connecting branch offices to corporate headquarters, or even mobile workers operating somewhere in the field.

All By Myself (Eric Carmen) - Yes, it's a little dreary, but can you think of a better way to pitch collaboration software to siloed enterprise users?

I Don't Want To Miss A Thing (Aerosmith) - systems management and application monitoring tools have never had the anthem they deserved. Until now.

Inspiration (Chicago) - The whole point of business intelligence is sifting through data to come up with great ideas. Peter Cetera probably never realised the real context of this tune.

Imagine (John Lennon) - Sounds so much like something Apple would use to unveil a personal computing device I'm surprised they haven't yet (as far as I know). Would also fit for application development tools.

I'll Stand By You (The Pretenders) - Network vulnerabilities can give you a lonely feeling. Here's the jingle Symantec, McAfee and other security specialists should use.

I need you now (Alias) - Outsourcers only wish their customers felt this way.

Hello (Is it me you're looking for) (Lionel Ritchie) - enterprise search is a journey, not a destination.

Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me (Elton John) - Okay, it would only be good for Sun Microsystems, but at least they'd be able to tell a story about how mission-critical their infrastructure is.

Fallin' (Alicia Keys) - It's about a roller-coaster relationship. Just like the one Microsoft has with its customers.

The point is that vendors aren't necessarily conveying the right message with their fast-paced musical numbers. They should be aiming for the slow dance - the one where you really get to know each other.

Here are a few of Reseller News’ own suggestions for top tech tunes, but we are open to other suggestions, of course:

I Touch Myself (The Divinyls) - why Apple didn’t use this at the iPod Touch launch is beyond me…

White and Nerdy (Weird Al Yankovic) - the perfect Tech Ed theme tune!

Give IT away (Red Hot Chili Peppers) - how better to kick off a Linux conference?

Ayo Technology (50 Cent) - or should that be 50c margin?

Posted by Louis Van Wyk February 29, 2008 11:33 AM | Comments (1)

Like many people in the reseller community I get invited to conferences and events where a pen is part of the complimentary items. This is great for us media types because you can never have too many pens, but it has its pitfalls…

It is rather embarrassing if you interview someone and unwittingly pull out a pen emblazoned with their rival’s branding. Cue awkward laughter and the excuse that it’s a good writing pen. The anonymous blue Bic pen is very handy in these situations.

I understand why pens are popular freebies - they are a cheap and effective way of mass promoting an IT company name or product.

But surely not everyone has to hand out branded pens. Some more enterprising goodie bag items I’ve received lately are a business card holder and flash drive.

These are branded too but since they’re generally out of sight no one will take issue. And I’m sure resellers will hold on to these types of products longer than a pen which will eventually run out of ink and end up in the bin.

Posted by Hamish Barwick February 25, 2008 3:28 PM | Comments (0)

So we’ve now seen the final set-piece in the battle between the two rival high-definition DVD formats.

Toshiba has capitulated, abandoning the HD DVD format it created, essentially surrendering to Sony’s rival Blu-ray.

This retreat is hardly surprising - as one after the other movie studios and major retailers, most recently Wal-mart, defected to Blu-ray, which also won the backing of PC and electronics makers such as Apple, Dell, HP, LG, Panasonic, Pioneer, Samsung and Sharp.

Also, HD DVD has been unable to resist the assault launched by Sony’s Playstation 3, which doubles as a Blu-ray player.

The basic version of the console now retails in New Zealand for $799, putting Blu-ray technology within reach of thousands of Kiwis who snapped up 5685 PS3s last December.

Meanwhile in the US, consumers bought 578,000 Blu-ray Disc players last year compared with only 370,000 HD DVD players.

And across the ditch the AFR reports that in December last year 2303 Blu-ray players were sold, compared with 528 HD DVD players. These figures exclude the 155,000 PS3 consoles sold since March last year. In comparison, Microsoft has sold just a few thousand HD DVD attachments for its Xbox 360.

With this kind of groundswell support for Blu-ray it is no wonder Toshiba has raised the white flag.

But has the best format won? Perhaps - HD DVD may be cheaper to produce, but Blu-ray has more capacity - 25GB per layer vs 15GB. Already some manufactures have announced four layer 100GB Blu-ray discs.

For consumers this means better sound and video quality as more data can be crammed onto a single disc. Such capacities should also stimulate uptake of Blu-ray in the corporate world as one 100GB disc would be a great back-up tool.

However, I don’t believe Blu-ray beat HD DVD on technological grounds. What has won the war is propaganda.

From the outset Blu-ray has had a more enticing, futuristic ring to it - it conjures up images of something out of sci-fi novels and sounds like something you’d find on the Starship Enterprise….

HD DVD tells you what it is - a high-def DVD - hardly imagination inspiring.

Being associated with the much-anticipated PS3 has also done Blu-ray a lot of favours - again linking it with ‘next-generation’ technology.

Plus, the cool-blue cases Blu-ray movies come in are so much more appealing than the yucky brown HD DVD boxes.

These are all emotive responses, but that is how consumers choose what to buy.

With technology as it is with any consumer goods, image is everything, and in this case Blu-ray had the edge over HD DVD from the start.

Sorry, Toshiba - your laptops are still pretty sexy though…

Posted by Louis Van Wyk February 21, 2008 12:44 PM | Comments (1)

Reading my colleague Amanda Sachtleben's blog about being stranded in a rural area without tech toys reminds me of an IT disaster I was witness to last year.

The previous company I worked for decided to merge with two other publishing companies. We were promised by the management that the IT systems would all be up and running the week we moved into the new building. I don’t think they envisaged the problem the IT department faced of migrating three different servers plus PCs and iMacs of various ages.

As any technical person will tell you, it can take a long time to integrate servers and transfer over vital information such as high resolution images, PDF files and emails. The other issue was staff members became understandably frustrated when they realised they couldn’t access work emails, the internet or some of their old files. Fortunately Microsoft Word was running so I could type stories otherwise I would have been sitting around talking to my workmates.

Perhaps the company was trying to save money by not investing in a new server but it would have saved a lot of headaches for staff and the IT department.

So tell your customers to be nice to their IT people (or person) when they ask for new resources - it could make all the difference to productivity and staff happiness.

Posted by Hamish Barwick February 11, 2008 6:12 PM | Comments (0)

When a holiday on a small farm out of Auckland was on offer recently, I jumped at the chance to have a break. But as I paced about the floor less than two days later, I knew I'd made a bad call by completely abandoning the technological comforts of home.

Before we left I was informed that the venue, an 'eco-house' set up with gas and solar power, had no TV or landline phone. Alarmed by this prospect, I considered taking my laptop so I could at least watch a DVD, and the cellphone was a must.

In the office, my email is set to be checked every minute, so it was also a very concerning thought that I would be without a message for close to 48 hours.

However when it came time to pack, I found the laptop battery flat so threw caution to the wind and decided the trip would be a chance to get back to nature and away from the rat race.

This decision can be filed under 'bad calls'.

The holiday location is not much more than an hour from Auckland, but the lack of other activities to replace playing with tech toys soon became apparent.

Kayaking on the lake was thwarted by an outbreak of algal bloom, walking was uninteresting because of the endless roads and paddocks, while a trip to the local vineyard revealed the owners had shut up shop and put the business up for lease. The local café then closed due to the public holiday.

The decent cellphone coverage was comforting until I lost my last link to civilisation with another flat battery.

So if you're an even slightly geeky person wondering how well they'll cope without tech toys, be warned against spending an eternity in a gadgetless place.

Remember, even prisoners have Playstation...

Posted by Amanda Sachtleben February 7, 2008 1:41 PM | Comments (0)